In A Holding Pool

I got an email this week from the music department at Pitt State telling me that, though not a current scholarship recipient, I am currently in a "holding pool" for scholarship money. To help me feel better, Dr. Fuchs included in the letter that there were 15 people they could not make any offer to at all. So--I'm better than at least 15 people but they're not sure I'm good enough to give a scholarship--though after renewing current scholarships and allotting money there, they may have some to share. That would be awesome! Even just $50 a semester would help--and if I'm given a reward now, it can always increase. STILL crossing my fingers and saying my prayers!

But it got me thinking...I feel like I'm living in a holding pool. I haven't moved yet, I haven't started school, I still have lots of work to do before I go....but I know I'm leaving, and a part of me already has. I am in a giant transition stage--but there is no transitioning taking place yet. Divorce papers are not filed, but I've already been replaced. I'm not single...yet I'm certainly not married. I don't live in Carthage, but I don't really live in Kansas City anymore either. I also realized that by the time I'm in my next apartment I will have moved 7 times in the last 4 years. Given how much I despise moving, I'm not sure why I thought all this was a good idea.

Oh life! No? I sometimes think my life would make an awesome TV show--because seriously, you can't write some of this stuf!!

New Take On Life!

Happy 2010! I really did start a post in January, and thought about continuing it several times after that but just could not bring myself to make all the changes I needed to. But here I am! Most of you are aware of what's goin on in my world by this time. If not, the new look and the previous post should give you some insight. If you're still not sure, thank I'm not quite sure what to tell you.

I have officially been in Kansas for a full year. It is amazing how much the world can change in one little year. Other than the state I live in, I can't think of a single thing in my life that hasn't changed this year. For the most part I'm good and am able to stay positive and look forward to the new things in my life. There are those days when I'm not so good and I get knocked back a notch or two. Some of those days I let myself stay in bed, some days I make myself get out and work on something.

I know there is a plan for my life that will, in the end, lead to the most extreme happiness I can imagine. I'm looking forward to that day!