Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I Shouldn't be Blogging

I'll make this quick because it is literally the second-to-last thing that I should be doing on my list of things I want to do.  (The absolute last is setting fire to and/or murdering something.)

It's finals week. As each day ticks by more and more of my fellow students get relieved and exciting with exclamations of "I'm Done!" or "One more and I'm outta here!" For me, each day brings more stress and anxiety and, with that, more procrastination. It is so frustrating to know exactly what you need to do and not be able to do it. This has been my worst semester since leaving Truman. I hate this feeling. I am so disappointed in myself. And, as is par for the course, I blame the ex. He's the only thing different this semester, other than it being a toughie. (And why not take every single opportunity to blame him while I can!?) Its not true. I don't blame him. I blame myself. I'm hoping that the next few weeks of testing, and sleep, etc. will bring clarity and resolution so I can power through these next 12 months. THat's it!! I have exactly one year left - I CAN DO THIS!! Suck it up! Get to work!

Also, while I have your attention, and since this is one of the safest places to voice this because it has no actual bearing on reality or what is happening...I want a baby. I want a family. ahhh to dream. Ok - Theory final, prepare to be dominated! (or at least survived)

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